How to hold space for hatred, figure out what you don't like, and meet your Nemesis.
Part 2 of the Fishing for Gems exercise.
Albo and Labor have just won a decisive victory in the Australian election and hey - what a perfect segway to talk about the necessity of positioning yourself against something or someone whilst also embodying what you stand for in a genuine way.
Today we’re moving into part 2 of Fishing for Gems, the exercise I introduced early on in The Artist’s Almanac section of my Substack.
Today we’re going deeper to that dark part of the psyche where our disgust and dislike hang out like creepy fish.
A real photo of my feelings about Ed Sheeran’s music being captured for the first time in public.
Yes yes I know, it’s hard to really lean into this for some people. There are many great artists I’ve rarely heard say a bad word about anyone, who are so busy engrossed in their work they don’t even have time to neg on others. But I’d argue that’s because emotional equanimity is already operating inherently in what they’re doing.
A quick aside before we get started: I have an apology to make. I’ve been so deep in organising this Preatures tour that I’ve neglected the offerings I promised paid subscribers.
So I’ve decided to open up a few Monday Afternoons to 30 minute 1:1 chats, during the time I’ll be in Australia for The Preatures Tour, June - August 2025, for all subscribers only for a short time. I remember my experience coming up as a new artist and not knowing who to turn to for advice, and I’m passionate about offering support that is free and accessible when I have capacity to balance it with, you know, my life.
More info on that below.
All of this sympathy is just a knife.
This exercise is not about feeding comparison, envy and hatred but rather creating space for them in genuine ways that leave room in your work for complexity to thrive, and reveal more about what you are trying to do.
After completing the first five questions of the Fishing for Gems exercise, the questions follow on:
List at least 3 things you are actively working toward, and 3 things you would do if there were no barriers.
Think about the people, fictional or real, living or dead, who inspire you. Who are your heroes, artistic or otherwise? List them and a brief sentence about each. What qualities do they embody?
Now think about the people, fictional or real, living or dead, that irritate, challenge or trigger you. Don’t worry about appearing ‘nice.’ List them here and a brief sentence about why each of them give you the ick.
I think about Charlie XCX’s song Sympathy is a Knife, where she not only sings about comparison and its corrosive effect on her, but also her inability to reckon with the position of another woman in the industry (very Nemesis-Coded). In the process of naming the things (and person, we all know!) she is comparing herself to, she both frees herself from its power over her and embeds herself within her own mythology.
'Cause I couldn't even be her if I tried
I'm opposite, I'm on the other side
I feel all these feelings I can't control
Oh no, don't know why
All this sympathy is just a knife
Why I can't even grit my teeth and lie?
I feel all these feelings I can't control (oh no)
Considering your answer to what you’d do if there were no barriers, is anyone on your hate list doing something similar, or embodying something you’d like to be expressing/doing/feeling but aren’t?
Now consider the list you have before you, including all your answers to the Fishing for Gems exercise, and begin to tease out words that correspond to what you’ve written down, and write it all out on a big piece of paper / board.
It’s really powerful considering who you look up to, and who you don’t, and why.
Here’s a photo of my friend Eliza who was my first victim of this process way back in 2020. Big stuff has shifted for everyone I’ve done this with.
Wine and cheese optional.
1:1 Chat now open to all Subscribers for a limited time.
I’ve been so deep in organising this tour that I’ve neglected the paid offerings on substack. I’m sorry but also not sorry as the tour announcement has been going well and there’s been a lot to do!
So I’ve decided to open up a few Monday Afternoons to 30 minute chats, during the time I’ll be in Australia for The Preatures Tour, June - August 2025, for all subscribers only for a short time.
Are you curious about doing the Fishing for Gems process 1:1, or maybe just wanna talk about a project?
You can book in here.
Izzi
